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New for You! Money, Money, Money! Women who make more than Men
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Member Surveys, Relationships: Marriage, Singles
This Post has been viewed 13569 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 4/15/2003
A member asks:
Is it a problem for men if his future mate makes a lot more money than he does?
Is it a problem for a woman if her future husband makes a lot less than she does?
Bonnie23blue:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias.
If it is a issue, talk about it.
I personally think that money is money, no matter who makes it.
Female - Age Range: 21-30
In principle, don't care if he makes more or less than me as long as he is educated and financially responsible. It DOES matter, though, if he doesn't make enough to comfortably support our family without me, because I want to have the option of being a full-time mom if we are blessed with children. If my husband barely earns enough to support himself, how will he be able to meet the needs of a family? I'm certainly willing to sacrifice luxuries for the sake of our children, but I will NOT raise my kids in a trailer park or shady neighborhood just because my spouse didn't bother with college or can't hold down a respectable job.
Female - Age Range: 31-40
I don't have a problem with that, so long as he does not try to hoard my money for his selfish use. We should pool our funds, with no distinction of who pays for what. I know a married couple who pool their tithes so that church members won't know that the lady earns more than the man. Such measures should help to improve his self-esteem if he would otherwise have a problem with the fact that she earns more than him.
Nannette:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias.
I have always made more money than Larry. It has never been an issue for either of us. When we first married, Larry was in construction and within a year or so quit his job to go to college and become a Registered Nurse. Even then, I still made more money.
It was always important for us to be the ones to raise our children, so one of us would work days and the other nights. I started out working nights, and then after he graduated, he worked nights and I worked days. Years later, I was making so much money that it seemed ridiculous to not be able to sleep with my husband, so I suggested he retire and stay home as Mr. Mom, since he was the one who cooked, shopped, and did the majority of the domestic chores anyway. So he quit his job as nurse and became a full-time Mr. Mom.
I would come home during summers while he and the girls would be goofing off having fun, but it never made me resent him or be jealous, because I know how hard it is to do the drudgery work of being the home-maker.
We put him through college again to get a computer science degree, and now he and I both run this website full-time. I quit my job and we make far, far less than we did, but we set our priorities, and being able to spend time with our kids was the most important thing. So this year while we have spent time growing this web site, we have also home-schooled our girls to avoid paying the high Christian school costs.
He's still in charge of the house-hold duties as well as his website duties, and when I can, I still do work for clients to supplement our income for this website ministry.
He does the majority of the yard-work, even though I love getting outside and putting in a flower garden once or twice a year. And occasionally I'll get out and clear brush from the woods.
I think our relationship is the perfect match. He has never been jealous of my income and I appreciate his hard work around the house so much, because I hate to cook! I never have to remind him to take the trash out, go shopping, cook the meals, do the laundry, etc.! He is a hard-worker and I love him more and more every year. He is smart, intelligent, and a dedicated and loving husband and father.
Before I met him, I used to have this 3-piece vested suit image of the man I would marry. He had to be college educated, make a lot of money, etc. But when I saw Larry, all that didn't matter. I realized God gave me talents to support the family financially, and Larry has supported it every other way additionally.
Larry is not just a pretty-face ;) -- he's very smart and talented and had I stuck with my 3-piece vested suit image, I might have some uppity snob who may be threatened by a woman who makes as much or more money than he.
2010: Since writing this article, Larry has gone back to work as an R.N.; still manages the IT requirements of the home business and household; and still cooks about two great meals a week. (The girls took over the cooking and shopping and cleaning.) I still make more than he does and he still doesn't care, because he has more to spend. :)
Female - Age Range: 51-60
No, it's not a problem with me if it's not a problem with my future husband. I think he should be happy and proud of his future wife if she happens to make more. Funny that most folks would ask what one's husband do for a living and equate success with what the man of the house makes. In my case, I asked the Lord for a man who doesn't have a high-maintenance profession. Normally those with high-maintenance jobs make lots of money. I'd rather have someone who has more time for the relationship even with just a meager earning than one who makes lots of money but very little time for family.
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I sincerely hope and pray all men are making more money than I am or they are at the bottom of the barrel. If I was making more money, though, I don't think I would have a problem with if a future mate made less than I did.
Female - Age Range: 61-70
I, myself, don't feel there is anything wrong if the man makes less than the woman. My ex-husband when I met him was BWC and made less than I did but it didn't bother me. We put our money together and paid bills first and then what was left over we could use for groceries, gasoline, or a fun time.
JoshK:
Male - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias as usual.
It doesn't have to be a problem, but it takes mature individuals - a man who is secure in himself and happy with what he does and a woman who can respect him for reasons less superficial than simply his paycheck. However, it is still best that mates be similar - in the same 'ballpark' - in terms of the overall socio-econimic balance. A lower-earning husband might, for example, actually have an equal or better educational background compared to his wife that would offset the income disparity. Maybe he's a pastor (and we all know how they rake in the dough) and she runs a succussful and lucrative business. He actually has a masters degree, but she didn't finish college. Could happen...
The man and woman should have similar beliefs and attitutes about money, as this is a major topic of conflict in marriage. They need to agree on tithing/offerings and charity. Tight-wads shouldn't marry shopping addicts or spendaholics regardless of who earns what.
Both individuals should respect themselves and each other completely, agree about any future children and who will stay home with them, and, especially, be prepared to live on the lower income of the father if the mother puts her career on hold to stay with the kids. As long as both are honestly prepared, and God is leading them together, there need not be any major problems.
Male - Age Range: 21-30
The days of the husband being the money maker and the wife being the house maker are over. These days the couples share the responsibility of both. It doesn't matter who makes more when they have a joint bank account
Male - Age Range: 31-40
I don't mind if a woman makes more than I do. This is the 21st century and if women have equal rights some of them are going to make more money than their husbnds.
Male - Age Range: 31-40
WARNING:
Money scammers looking for real marriage!
Prostitution take many forms!
History is full of violence, hatred, deads, never ending conflicts, terrorism, abuse, robberies, persecution, drugs, prostitution, divorces, and all kinds of moral depravation for greed of lands, oil or money. I believe that when the Bible says that LOVE of money is the root of all evil is referring to all material GOODS.
If I had more than you or be wealthy, you would have never know it by reading my profile. Because I'm looking for compatibility, genuinity, God's will. I don't want to be adored like an idol.
Once in other site I was contacted by a wealthy woman from other country, she said she liked my profile very much. She gave me her phone number and we talked. Two suspicious questions arose: What's your job?, What's your level of education? When she got disappointed I tried to know the reason of the questions and she frankly said: The problem is that you make much less money than me and that may be a problem in our future administration. She was already creating the future problem.
I thought she would never write back but I found other message the following day, it said: '...the most important thing is that you love God so much, please, write to me to my personal email address which is...' But she never replied again neither from her personal address nor from the site. Rich people marry rich people never minding so much what may happen tomorrow. And christians are learning the broad way too.
I saw one here asking for a man with iqual or higher level of education than her. She felt able to meet 'the higher' but didn't concider 'a lower' to meet her level. I saw other asking for a man with as much or much more money than she had. Obviously she didn't want him to reject her for having less than him but what about a man who has less? In fact, I have seen several of these cases expressed in different ways here. Isn't it selfishness? Is money the root of these evils? Pride may be too. But I'm glad I've seen honest profiles here.
May be they feel they will be impossible to be lead by the head of the family if that head have no more than what Jesus had when He became poor for the sake of His bride. Shame on you if money lead you, shame, shame! Repent and be converted. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO???: Many women fed Jesus and he was honored by a woman who poured an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard of about 1 year work-value on His feet and on His head, the same poor head of family you may be rejecting today.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
It would not bother me if a woman that God brought to me, made more money than me. Think of the tithing we could do, with the extra income as a family. Praise God!!
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I just recently had one of your members reject me bcause of money. Not because I had any but because I wasn't debt free. It is one of my goals but her intollerence was amazing. I didn't quite understand it.
Male - Age Range: 51-60
Being a man,I can say that has never bothered me.If two people love each other in Christ that should not be an issue.We have let the world tell us how to live and have ignored the word of God and focus on the worldly way of living,so our view is polluted.We have become just like Isreal of old,we know the way God would have us be but we choose our own way instead of His.This is a trivial stuff, if your relationship is having problems because of this you should both pray together that the Lord will show you his will for the both of you.The Lord He is God and there is none like Him.But will you heed his word.
IndyPilot:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias
I believe it shouldn't be a problem if my future mate makes more than I do. If she has chosen a career, or reentered a career then I would want her to feel free to progress as far as she wants to. When we are operating as a real team, it is important that each contributes what he or she is able, not the percentage of each that is important.
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