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Long Distance First Date
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New!
SEP-28-04
11:6:6
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Long Distance First Date
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Submitted Anonymously
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I would be interested in discussing the speed at which a relationship progresses. When you meet someone for the first time on this site, what kinds of things have you discussed? How fast do you move from a really safe level -- discussing the weather, world events, daily activities, to more personal things? How personal do you get and how fast? At what point would you decide to exchange phone numbers? Any other comments or ideas?
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New!
SEP-28-04
10:53:51
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Long Distance First Date
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Submitted Anonymously
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Regarding the last comment about emailing progressing to phone calls, progressing to sleeping together, there's an excellent book called Too Close Too Soon that deals with that very subject. When you build intimacy too fast, there's no foundation to hold it. I think it would be like fire burning grass as opposed to a harder wood. It burns very quickly and it's over just as fast.
I'm glad you wrote because I had a question about how fast to progress. I think you've just answered it for me. Slow and steady may be the best thing.
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New!
SEP-25-04
4:9:19
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Long Distance First Date
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Submitted Anonymously
Female
41-50
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I began with e-mailing with someone on this site, within days we were on the phone, chatting online, it was fast, but I fell head over heals in love with him. He seemed to return my feelings, he even told me as much. He flew up to see me from 700+ miles away over a holiday weekend, we had a wonderful time together,I even let him stay in my house. Unfortunately for me,we were intimate(I say that because of the outcome, not the act). We had discussed the possibility, and agreed that if it went that far it would not be a casual relationship, agreeing when you go that far, there is a commitment to God. Although it was wonderful, he began pulling away from me emotionally almost immediately. This beautiful man, who I yoked myself too, believing that this was a relationship sent from heaven, couldn't understand my tears when I asked him, where do we go from here?, and he answered, "I don't know sweetie". The tears began there, and I cried off and on all weekend. The thing is, that believing that love can overcome anything, I kept being inimate with him. We went to church together, prayed together and slept (I mean actually slept) together. I know that I totally bombarded him with e-mails the week after he left, trying so hard to pull him back. He finally just told me on the phone one night after I asked him why he didn't respond to my e-mails, why he didn't chat with me anymore, and why he barely stayed on the phone 15 minutes with me, when we used to spend an hour. He told me he was trying to "wean" me from him. The next night was the last time he contacted me. I left him alone. I didn't e-mail him or try to contact him in any way. I finally e-mailed him just to say hi and ask him how he was doing, how was school, how he'd done on some exams etc. Nothing about our relationship. I got no response. This was the sweetest guy, he treated my so well until he left. He opened doors for me, cooked me dinner, held me in his arms, held my hand, gave me little kisses here and there, even told me at the airport that he loved me and that everything was going to be ok. Then he was gone from my life.
My advice...beware....things are not always as good as they appear, and people are not as honest as you would think, no matter how much they proclaim to be Christians. Christians are just as capable of telling you what you want to hear.
Had to add my 2 cents. I guess I am angry, thought I was just hurt.
Blessings
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New!
SEP-22-04
11:7:3
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Long Distance First Date
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Submitted Anonymously
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I've wondered about messages from guys on other continents. I have no money for that kind of travelling at the moment, and wondered how you would get to know each other well enough. Some people who have contacted me don't seem willing to upgrade enough to share more than a smile with me. Some are 20 years younger than me and we don't share the same values at all. I wonder sometimes if some people are just looking for a ticket into the country through potential marriage. How do you know if they're serious and why can't they find someone in their own country or continent?
I plan to drive 6 hours to meet a guy but I have friends there to visit and stay with also. Otherwise I'd expect the guy to come here to meet me.
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New!
SEP-15-04
18:9:52
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Long Distance First Date
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Submitted Anonymously
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I traveled 4 hours to meet a man and it was worth it he was all i thought he would be we had a great time and i returned 2 times after that he came to see me once he even asked me to marry him but when it came down to doing it i couldn't because i felt i needed to stay where i live now i have a special needs child and doing that would mess him up bad ......maybe he didn't understand but if it had been reversed i believe i would have moved i miss him bad I really Love him and his little boy i will never forget them ......
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